This Man is considered Armed and Dangerous. 

If he asks you if you have seen his baseball get away as quickly as possible, he will spaze out on you if not.

Thoughts to Live By

Generic Letter Home for College Students

Elian

Actual McDonalds Application

Thinking about Upgrading to Husband 1.0

The Romantic Truth about Names

Southernisms

Here is one "Scary Movie" (big 15 megs)

Welcome message for MikeandJeff.com (courtesy of Matt Knobbe)

Perverted Kermit